Mamusia, pamiętasz mnie?
The pipevine swallowtails emerged from their chrysalises this spring. Can you see them?
|
|
|
|
|
|
The poppies, Ceanothus, and Fremontodendron are blooming again. Do you know what a wet and cold winter we had in California? The weeds are growing like crazy; I can’t keep up with them. The slugs decimated a third of my pea crop. Compared to people who suffered from flooding and other storm damage, I’m lucky to suffer only from weeds and slugs.
|
The cat tried to die last month. Five days of not eating or drinking, then twenty-four hours on IV fluids at the vet’s. Now she’s fine. She used one of her nine lives on the anniversary of your death, trying to steal the thunder. Oddly, the cat has become more affectionate during the last year. Now I wonder if not only a part of my dog Volpo (1999 – 2011) is inside her, following me around and watching me, but a part of you, too. A part of you that you tended not to express.
I see another hidden side of you now in your beautiful writing. Did you really think it would not interest me?
I’ve been trying to sort out your early life and place it in the context of history. While I documented bits and pieces over the decades, now I can dwell on it with no one to discourage me. I’m grateful for the trail of details you left, some that you shared with me and others that you didn’t. Attempting to fill gaping holes in my knowledge of eastern European history, I’ve been listening to history books while pulling weeds, replastering the kitchen ceiling, and painting exterior house trim – some of my favorite ways to multitask.
The windows in the image above I painted last summer, the fascia along the roof edge just this month. The spring annuals are tall now near the back of my house. You remember the tansy Phacelia (Phacelia tanacetifolia), right? Bees love it, and it can cause a skin rash on humans. Some of my other plants that flower only after dark and later in the summer I never got around to showing you.
|
|
|
In June last year I brought back with me books from your Ithaca cottage. I built new shelves for them and am comforted to see the books lining the wall when I’m reading or resting.
Do you know that I’m grateful to you for giving me a stable life when I was growing up? It may not have been the best choice for you. Or maybe, after all that happened when you were young, it was. I try to imagine what other paths your life might have taken.
Are you aware that the Russia-Ukraine war is still going on, in addition to fighting in Palestine and other parts of the world? Of course you would not be surprised. What went wrong in the evolution of Homo sapiens that a diagnostic character of the species is its ability to commit atrocious acts of mass violence towards each other, killing, displacing, and wreaking havoc for generations of families?
Your awareness of the propaganda, hypocrisy, and cruelty of politicians and the people who blindly follow them were never far from your thoughts even while you pursued activities you loved. Is this why I, too, feel the strongest sense of calmness when I’m outdoors? There is something reassuring that the sun rises each day and the plants, even the weeds, rise out of the soil each spring. This still happens now, whether or not you are here to see it. (So far.)
